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    November 03

    final的日子

       今天自然醒到10点,然后精神的去上日语课,看着两节课没看到的李珊,心里充满了愧疚感,脑海里还回荡着我没去之后她给我打电话关怀的语气,如慈母一样温暖,可我还是下意识的用各种各样的理由、借口胡编乱造,我觉得我的人品出现了问题,好像摸爬滚打之后那些基础的良心都被吞噬了。
       我也不知道这样是对是错,反正我至少前一个礼拜一直在自我谴责,活在沉重的阴影之中,只能希望结果是好的,收到伤害和牵连的人越少越好,回想自己做过的一切,或许一年前的我连想的勇气都没有,自己是怎么了不知道,现在只有坚定信念的走下去,走到死角为止。 人们常说做某件事前把一切都置之度外了,可是,真到那份儿上了,还有那份魄力吗?
       我一直以来都是一个老好人,跟从小爸妈的教育有关,他们让我不要轻易得罪人,这20年来,活的波澜不惊,少了一分轰轰烈烈的霸气,我想试图做出一些改变,在某些事情上显得自信一点,盛气凌人一点,希望能理解我的同志们理解我。
       我一直以来也是一个完美主义者,做事情会尽量顾全部人的利益,也会在意所有人对我的看法,所以,日子过得很累,感觉肩膀上总是扛着一些莫名的压力,现在看来,这一切完全是庸人自扰,走自己的路虽然是一句老话,却也是一笔箴言,让别人去说吧是一种态度,也是一种豁达。
       或许10年之后看今天的自己,会觉得自己做的很差,很不像话,但是我现在就想这样做,谁知道10年之后的我还有没有那么勇气和魄力呢?
       给自己制订了粗略复习计划,坚定的执行下去,做一个坚定的人。

    Comments (6)

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    Qianwrote:
    走自己的路。。好难做到啊。。
    Nov. 6
    依苇 Yiweiwrote:
    哎~你也上日语的呀~~啊哈哈~~加油加油~~
    Nov. 4
    婷婷 张wrote:
    啊。。。我可是从来都不知不觉得罪很多人啊,其实还是按自己的性格活最轻松了,表特意做改变哈
    Nov. 4
    活的波澜不惊是一件多难得的事
    Nov. 3
    剑 李wrote:
    胚子:原因你知道。。。
    Nov. 3
    培楠 韩wrote:
    你最近又咋了?为啥自我谴责?
    Nov. 3

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